Family Values

So recently I've moved to Texas which has caused some issues between me and my younger sister.  Let me give you some back story... I was in a really weird place in my life before I moved.  I wasn't making money as a hairstylist back home,  my sister is 23 and I'm 28 we were roommates and with the age gap we just lived two different lifestyles which caused a lot of tension, not to mention the fact that I was just plain unhappy. Being that I was unhappy I decided to make a drastic move and I told my sister I wanted to move to Texas see if I could make things happen there.  She didn't believe me and when the time came she was pissed because I said I was leaving and we still had time left on our lease. I hopped on that one way ticket to Dallas and never looked back.  Shortly after I moved the salon I worked for closed so I just felt like I had nothing to go home too.  Now I  can't lie I haven't been perfect but I've been doing my best trying to get settled paying rent and bills for two households and I've paid the rent late back home I can't lie and Ive always paid talked to the rental office made arrangement everything I could do.  I paid late fees up to 150 but I'm not tripping that's my responsibility.  I own up to that! I find out my sister took her student loan money paid the rent up and has been pocketing my late fees, and her dude has been living with her.  I would never do her like that.  She knows I'm trying to make a change in my life for the better help her and my family and be happy.  So I stopped sending her the money and sent it straight to the rental office.  This really pissed her off and she started sending me nasty  text messages.  Well now the lease is up and I'm off the lease my money is paid and I think everything is gonna be fine and my sister sends me a nasty voice mail.  Calling me names such as ballad heads bitch, you aren't shit, you need to get your hair game up, if you can't make it in Indy you can't make it any where, you stupid bitch your man ain't gonna take care of you! The message has so much hate in it.  She says I betrayed our trust. Though I've been paying the rent and utilities keeping up with my end of the bargain she is so angry with me about moving.  Shes so jealous that I'm not stuck in the bullshit.  Its not my job to save anyone and sometimes you gotta be selfish to ensure your own self preservation.  I got tired of being mediocre of not being able to do what I want, buy what I want, and being unhappy sick every single day from worrying.   So when the opportunity presented itself I got the hell outta dodge. I understand her angst though I'd be mad too stuck in a miserable existence.  A cheating Man little to no friends and a nasty attitude.  Now I don't wanna fight with my sister but I will not make apologies for doing what I had to do to make a better way for myself.  I'm happier then I've ever been and when I visited home the people who are really happy for me couldn't get over how different I looked like the weight have been lifted off me.  I feel like it has been and I'm happy.  Everything you do isn't gonna make everyone happy and sometimes that's  okay as long as you didn't intentionally hurt anyone.  Stand strong and know that people will either get over it or they wont but no matter what you still have to live your life!

Watch my shoes

So here's the thing I have a Man right and I love him to death we don't fight about many things but...We always seem to get into it about the way I dress.  He says I dress like a "boy toy" and I don't have to and shouldn't dress like that because I am not single.  I say fuck that I should dress the way I wanna dress boyfriend or not you meet me this way which is (kinda hard to say because we met on line but that's neither here nor there). So this past Sunday I had an Event at a Natural Hair Care Expo I'm a hair stylist at a natural hair care salon so you can imagine how I dress. if you know any hair stylist you know we have great style and are sometimes over the top.  I like things big not necessarily flashy, I'm not like that but I have some over the top pieces in my wardrobe for sure.   So we had to wear black shirts and jeans so I decided to add a little pow and wear my thigh high sliver cowboy decal boots to add a little wow factor.  My Man always like to give me his two cents about my clothes  and goes Mmmmm Mmmm baby not those boots.  And it just pissed me off!  He proceeds to tell me how I need to dress more professional and I'm like baby I'm a hairstylist not an accountant.  We have a big blow up (I happened to be very emo because flow was in town) I'm yelling and crying because it more then the boots how I dress is a big part of who I am. Its me... my personal style and I pride myself on being very stylish. Him not understanding that hurts because I'm like I love him so much and i accept everything about him like it or not. My style that just so me so its almost like do you like me really for who I am.  For most people that's extreme thinking but for me its just my thought process.  At the end of the day I know that he really love me and we care for each other and I've always been able to express to him my feelings.  We have moved on and dealt with the situation so its Peas and Carrots with us like nothing happened.  BTW those same boots he didn't want me to wear because he thought they weren't professional my boss loved and I received so many compliment's I lost count.

Nappy Reality

The thing I've learn about not only having natural hair but being a Hair Stylist with a natural hair focus is that you have to be realistic about your natural hair.  Only expected it to preform the way "your" hair is going to preform.  A lot of people have delusional expectation for their hair they see pictures of women with bouncy curl hair and go home buy all these products in hopes that their hair will look like that "cover girl".  Well lets keep it 100 a lot of the time its has everything to do with that persons hair texture then it has to do with a styling product or even a haircut. You have to take hair type,density, face shape and skin tone into consideration when trying to achieve a style. People ask me all the time what do I recommend for them to do with their hair and my advice first and foremost is to get to know your hair.  Get your mind fixated off the images you see on tv and magazines. Come to terms with your hair texture if you don't have long springy curls your curls are not gonna spring. If that hair is tight and kinky love that hair and know that just like your curls won't spring there are things your kinky hair can do that that springy curls can not and vice versa. Then I go into my whole hair care formulas but that neither here nor there. Self acceptance is key and the realization that just people everyones strands are different.